Halifax woman makes final plea for changes before medically assisted death

With files from the Canadian Press

A terminally ill Halifax woman took to social media to post a final message Thursday before her life was ended with medical assistance.

According to a news release, Audrey Parker died peacefully at home surrounded by friends and family.

“While her death was the beautiful, end of life experience she wanted, it was earlier than she would have liked,” the release stated.

The 57-year-old had Stage 4 breast cancer and she had been advocating for changes to Canada's medical assistance in dying (MAID) legislation.

Parker believed the current law is too restrictive due to a provision called “late stage consent.”

The legislation requires a patient to consent to end their life when making the request and again immediately before the medical procedure is performed.

The provision was intended to protect vulnerable people.

Parker's cancer spread to the lining of her brain and she feared she wouldn't be able to give that final permission if her condition worsened.

“As I near my death today, it is even more evident than ever before, that late stage consent has got to be amended and removed from MAID in Canada,” she wrote on Facebook Thursday morning.

“Dying is a messy business. I can't predict when cancer will move into my brain matter or when something else big happens to make me more unwell … I wanted to make it to Christmas and New Year's Eve, my favourite time of the year, but I lost that opportunity because of a poorly thought out federal law. I just can't gamble with my end of life and the pain I endure.”

Her post urged Canadians to contact their members of Parliament in hopes they'll amend the legislation and remove late stage consent.

“I can tell you I loved my life so much and I have no regrets,” Parker wrote. “I feel like I’m leaving as my best self and I’m ready to see what happens when I die today.”

Canada's health minister says her heart goes out to Parker, and she would change the law for her if she could.

But Ginette Petitpas Taylor says she can't do that because the government is in the middle of gathering recommendations for amendments.

She said the issues Parker is raising will be considered in a report being drafted by a panel of experts, which is due by the end of the year.

Audrey Parker's full Facebook post:

Dear Facebook friends,

This is my last note to you. I can tell you I loved my life so much and I have no regrets. I feel like I’m leaving as my best self and I’m ready to see what happens when I die today. I’m hoping for something exciting to happen but I guess I won’t know until the time is here.

The one thing I’m happiest about, is that I finally found “my people” during my lifetime. I’ve even met new people that I already adore near the end of my journey so it’s never too late for anything in life. To my peeps Kim King, Nancy Regan, Laurie Graham, Margaret MaGee-Kasmir, Heather MacLellan, Deborah Lusby, Marie Crowell, Mary Lynk, Sarah Morrison and Alicia Melanson, thank you for everything! To everyone else who played a role in my life this past year, there are too many of you to list here, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I couldn’t have made this journey without you.

In the spirit of teaching and sharing, I’d like to leave you with some words that explain my position with MAID. You can copy and paste them into an email or text them to your MP asking for Ottawa to amend and remove late stage consent on MAID candidates in Audrey Parker’s category of Assessed and Approved MAID users.

Dying with Dignity Canada is submitting a bill next week and asking for Audrey’s Law….an amendment that will take late stage consent off the table for MAID users in my category of Assessed and Approved. Please send your Member of Parliament a note asking he/she to support Audrey’s Law and abolish late stage consent. For those already Assessed and Approved for MAID, they should receive the opportunity to figure out when the right time to die is upon them. They will figure it out as they live out as many days as possible. Once they are at the end of the line, they will reach out to their MAID provider and together, they will figure out the best time to invoke MAID. This is exactly how I should be able to deal with my death but this is not the case. I’m willing to leave early if it will result in this change for those who come after me.

This was my MAID process:

1) My oncologist Dr. Young, suggested I sign up for MAID (medical assistance in dying) because he knew I was suffering terribly with my cancer pain in my bones and it was only getting worse each month that passed by.

2) I went through a rigorous interview process with two doctors. They made sure I was speaking on my own behalf, that I was psychologically ready to pass away, that I had full capacity, I was of sound mind and I would be an excellent candidate for MAID. I was Assessed and Approved. Dying with Dignity Canada realized recently that Assessed and Approved is another category of MAID user so that’s why it’s the only category I speak for.

3) I met the person who would assist me when I die and we started contacting each other once a month for the past seven months. She knows I’m of sound mind because we talk each month. She would see a difference if there was one.

4) Cancer spread to my brain lining so then my candidacy was now in jeopardy because of late stage consent. When the MP’s debated MAID federally, someone decided to add late stage consent as a fail-safe to ensure no one dies at the hand of another.

To me, this was a cowardly act that completely ruined the process for people like me who are dying. I think folks worried that a vulnerable person needs to be protected as do I and in the rigorous interview stage, that is where the vulnerable will be found out.

There are four categories of MAID candidates. 
1. Assessed and Approved (me and terminal patients who have gone through the getting approved stages)
2. People who are considered too young to speak for themselves
3. People who are mentally ill
4. People who have been diagnosed with terminal cancer, ALS or early onset Alzheimer’s and they know they want to end their life before they end up in terrible shape and can’t do anything for themselves.

Of the four categories, the only one that is cut and dried is my category of Assessed and Approved. We are terminal, suffering outrageous pain and there is no time frame with using MAID. The kicker that makes it difficult is the late stage consent.

5) As I near my death today, it is even more evident than ever before, that late stage consent has got to be amended and removed from MAID in Canada for my category of end users.

Dying is a messy business. I can’t predict when cancer will move into my brain matter or when something else big happens to make me more unwell. I and only I can make that decision for myself. It’s about living out every extra day that I can. No one including my doctor knows what the right day to die will be. Only I can know that as I wake each day. I’m not going to wait until I lose myself (cancer in my brain) or I’m in very bad shape. I wanted to make it to Christmas and New Year’s Eve… my favorite time of the year but I lost that opportunity because of a poorly thought out federal law. I just can’t gamble with my end of life and the pain I endure.

Had late stage consent been abolished, I simply would have taken my life one day at a time. If I noticed I was losing capacity, I would have taken control myself….and called my doctor to come assist me with my death. All I have to give is 24 hours notice so she can pick up the drugs from the drug store in my neighborhood. We were totally organized but the law tied our hands.

This decision has to come from the patient. No one else. That’s why we the dying should be living day to day until we have to leave by invoking MAID.

Be happy everyone and be kind to others because you can!

With lots of love!
Audrey